What next?

This past weekend, I made my (almost weekly) trip to Michael's to see what I could scrounge up for the wedding. They were running a special of 50% off of all Cuttlebug products. So, after seeing Mrs. Eggplant's posts about what a Cuttlebug could do I naturally decided "I must have one". I picked up an (empty) Cuttlebug box, several dies and embossing folders, and some cardstock--assuming I'd make some Mother's Day cards for my and RogueGroom's moms--and headed to the register only to be told "We're out of those". Very disappointing, as they had three boxes on display so I naively assumed they were in stock. So, no Cuttlebug for me, although I have been toying with ordering one online. I keep chickening out when my total reaches the $150 mark with all of the dies and folders. I may get one yet, but I think I should work on my screenprinted invitations before I delve into another craft.

I do still want a Xyron sticker machine, though.

Let ME Eat Cake

Easily one of my favorite things about weddings, as a guest, is the cake. I love cake. I'm always just a bit upset at the tiny portions they give you at weddings, but now that I'm looking for a baker for my own wedding cake, I completely understand why those slices are so small. Cakes are expensive!

When I started planning, I didn't even want to entertain having my wedding at a place that provided the cake as part of a package. I'm very wary about the quality of "package deals" because I think the vendors can get a bit complacent. With all of that guaranteed business, why bother trying to be the best? To top it all off, these places often had limited options for cake flavor and decoration. Being the cake lover that I am, I'm a bit picky about my cake—I want to be sure it's going to look nice, fit with the overall feel of the wedding, and taste delicious.

Fast forward a few months, and I am now in full "cake search" mode. My caterer didn't have any recommendations, as it seems the area where we are getting married has a dearth of decent bakeries. Another problem adding to my frustration—many bakeries don't have websites! I'm definitely a technophile, and will happily talk to a computer rather than an actual person. Also, I'm doing a lot of my research from work and it's a lot less suspicious to fire off a few emails rather than chat on the phone all day long to vendors. So far, I've emailed three bakeries, only one of which has gotten back to me with a price estimate.

I absolutely refuse to go for a cake tasting before I get at least a ballpark per-slice estimate. I'm so annoyed that the bakeries that do have websites typically don't even post a price range. I know how much I can afford, and I want to make sure that any bakery I seriously consider can meet my price. I'm only wasting my time and theirs if I make an appointment for a tasting only to find out that their cakes start at $8 a slice.

The prices I've seen for cakes are a big problem for me. I consider myself an amateur baker, so it kills me to have to pay for something I could probably make myself. Unfortunately, I'll be way too busy the week before the wedding to spend hours in the kitchen perfecting my decorating skills.

Also, wedding cake bakers seem to fall into two camps: those that specialize in "look" and those that specialize in "taste". I want both, but I also want cheap.

As to the look of my cake, I'm still undecided. I know that I want buttercream for the taste, but I absolutely adore the clean look of fondant. Unfortunately, fondant tends to cost more (though I'm not sure why, given the price of ingredients). I do know that I want three tiers with different fillings, and possibly even different cake flavors. No chocolate cake, though, unless RogueGroom demands it. I want some color, and I like the look of piped scrollwork. Flowers are a possibility, especially since I'm not set on a cake topper. I think we're leaning toward the monogram toppers. I'd love to do some little birds on top, but I don't thing RG will go for it.

So, if I remember to take my list of bakeries home I'll make some calls this weekend.

Where It’s At

I've hinted a bit about my venue in previous posts, but I realized I haven't yet really described it. When I was looking at venues (and I say "I" rather than "we" because it was mostly me doing the looking) I knew that I probably wouldn't like any of the typical banquet halls. First of all, I wanted to have the ceremony outside. Many wedding venues have an outdoor ceremony area, but even in pictures they all look so "staged". I did visit one banquet hall that had lovely gardens, but it was so close to a major highway that I could hear a lot of car noise, and the staff was so inattentive that we actually left before they showed us around the interior.

Since we live in the Hudson Valley and most of our guests are from outside the area, I really wanted to find a venue that epitomized the beauty and history of the region, ideally with a river view. The first place I fell in love with had all of that. Exhibit A: Sunnyside

Sunnyside was the home of Washington Irving, the author of The Legend of Sleepy Hollow among many other works. I loved the wisteria-covered house and the grounds. We went to visit on a beautiful summer afternoon and paid to take a tour of the house. Personally, I thought it was perfect, though I was slightly dismayed at the amount of noise when a MetroNorth train would pass along the river below the bluff. RogueFiancé worried because there was no indoor location in the event of rain (at the time, we were planning on getting married in late September—I thought a tent would be sufficient protection if it rained). So, Sunnyside was not happening.

Eventually, after struggling to find a place that fit my "dream location", I broadened my search parameters. We're only a few miles from the Connecticut border, so I decided to look into venues in Western Connecticut. I wouldn't have my Hudson River view, but at least I could manage to find something with an historic angle. When I first looked at the website for the Keeler Tavern Museum , I was skeptical. The pictures on the site really don't do it justice. Still, I went for a look on a late-September Sunday. I fell in love with the place right away. The main building is a Revolutionary War era tavern, but events are held in the Garden House and adjacent gardens. The Garden House was built in the early 1900s by architect, and former Keeler Tavern owner, Cass Gilbert (he designed NYC's Woolworth Building) so that his wife would have a place to entertain guests. It has a fireplace, hardwood floors, chandeliers, and an entire wall of French doors that lead out into the walled garden. The garden itself has a fountain and reflecting pool. And, as a bonus, it was fairly inexpensive to rent the place for an entire day.

The only other hurdle was convincing RogueFiancé. He was out of town when I first went to visit, but I convinced him that we should book the place. When he finally went to see it several weeks later he agreed that it was a great find. My parents were concerned about the size of the place (maximum 90 people, and we'll be pushing it with our guest list) and that there wouldn't be enough room for dancing, especially if it rained and we couldn't do anything outside. I assured them that I'd figure everything out, and when they finally got to see the location my mom fell in love with it too (even though it was February and the gardens were not at their best). I think what really impressed them was that, for an extra $50, the museum will have someone available to take guests on a tour of the tavern. We were treated to a mini tour on that visit, and really enjoyed learning a little more about the location.

We also took some pictures in the gardens to get an idea of where we want to have the ceremony.

Gifts galore...

No, this post isn't about gifts I'm receiving (I wish!), but rather gifts I'm giving. I'm trying to figure out what to give our attendants and parents. Bridesmaids are pretty easy--I only have two (my brother's girlfriend and my 13 year old cousin), and I've already started assembling gift bags for them. I bought them each a small reversible tote bag from sheila d:
I also picked up some monogrammed toiletries bags at the Christmas Tree Shop (no, I don't really know why it's called that), which I'm going to fill with some nice soaps and nail polish, etc. And, I have ambitiously embarked on what may turn into a foolhardy venture: I'm knitting beaded lace shawls for them. I just started the first one last night, so we'll see if it looks like I'll finish in time. I also want to get them a piece of jewelry for the wedding day, and I was looking at the cute "wish necklaces" from Dogeared Jewels. I especially like the four-leaf clover, but I'm afraid of it being a little too "Irish" for my non-Celtic 'maids.

The other question is, of course, gold or silver? I'm a die-hard silver fan myself, but I don't want to impose my silver-love on others.

The flower girl and ring bearer are pretty simple too. I'm putting together "goodie bags" for each of them (assuming I can find the right personalizable tote or backpack that won't break the bank) that will include coloring books, snacks, and other fun stuff to do over the weekend. I'm also planning to give them each a tee-shirt proclaiming their "title" for the day which they can wear at the out-of-town reception the night before the wedding. Finally, I want to get them some kind of bribe gift that they'll receive only after performing their duties. I'm thinking Build-a-Bear for that gift.

Eventually, I suppose I'll figure out something for the parents gifts. Red Envelope has this lovely "family tree" necklace that includes your choice of birth stones and I think fits beautifully with my garden theme, but it's a bit pricey. I might scour etsy for something similar for less money.

I was also considering embroidering some lacy handkerchiefs for the moms, but then we get into the issue of time and the fact that my embroidering skills are a little rusty.

The dads and groomsmen are a bit difficult for me. I've asked my betrothed what he thinks would be a good gift and I got what I've begun calling the "wedding mumble". This usually consists of a distracted look and a vague "Oh, I don't know. We have plenty of time to figure that out. Why do we have to buy people gifts again?" Sigh...

Luckily, there are only two groomsmen. Technically, only the Best Man (fiance's brother) is a "groomsman". My brother will be in the wedding, but he is my "Man of Honor", so his gift will be my responsibility. He's the ultimate "impossible to buy for" guy, but he likes swords and other sharp objects, so I'm considering buying him a nice sgian dubh to wear with his kilt on the wedding day. Something like this, perhaps: At least my Man of Honor will be able to defend me if someone tries to kidnap the bride!

Inspiration

As the wedding date draws closer, I'm trying to organize all of my scattered "great ideas" into a cohesive look. I don't want the whole event to feel thrown together or too busy, so I need to start looking at every decision critically with an eye to "does it fit?". Something I noticed a lot of brides on Wedding Planner doing is an "Inspiration Board". This is sort of a digital representation of what many wedding planning books advise to help brides create an overall feeling. The idea is to assemble images of ideas you would like to incorporate into the wedding. This can be pictures of flowers, scraps of cloth, motifs, anything that strikes your fancy. I haven't done this at home yet, although it would be a good place to store all of those fabric swatches I've begun to accumulate. If you're a little bit computer savvy, you can get the same effect in a neat little computer image file.

The starting point for an inspiration board will vary. I started with color, because I already had a pretty good idea of what colors I wanted to use for my wedding décor. Since my wedding is early October, I wanted autumn colors, and went with green, orange and brown. If color isn't that important, but you have a theme, you may begin by looking for images related to your theme. Wedding websites like Wedding Planner or The Knot are great sources for images because you can search by color and other criteria, but don't limit yourself to wedding-specific sites. Home, garden and fashion websites or blogs will also have great images that may spark your imagination.

Once you've assembled a number of images, you can use any image-editing software to resize and arrange your pictures into a nice grouping. I did the inspiration board shown here using just MS Word. I suggest starting with any pictures you absolutely love and want to keep. As you begin to add images to the board, you may notice that some don't quite "fit" with the look of the other pictures. That's how you start to narrow your wedding day "look"!

So, without further ado, here is my inspiration board:

I'm going for a very "natural" look because I'm getting married in an early-20^th century garden. The fireplace image is more rustic than I want, but there is a fireplace in our reception room and I liked the idea of using candles to decorate it. I still have a lot of details to work out, but I think this is a good jumping-off point and I expect that looking at this arrangement every so often will help me to focus.

The Big Checklist

Planning a wedding is a big deal. There are a lot of things you need for a wedding, especially if you're having it at a venue that provides next to nothing. Sometimes I honestly have no idea what's left to buy, rent, borrow or steal and what I've already taken care of. So, like any good control-freak, I'm going to make a list. This is actually going to be the Mother of All Lists, containing everything I need or might need for the wedding day. As I purchase or order items, they get crossed off. Here goes!

• Bride's attire
  
  • Dress
    
  • Veil
    
  • Shawl
    
  • Necklace
    
  • Earrings
    
  • Garter
    
  • Hair ornaments
    
  • Shoes
    
  • Foundation garments
    
  • Nail polish
    
  • Makeup
    
    • Foundation
      
    • Blush
      
    • Powder
      
    • Eyeshadow/liner
      
    • Waterproof mascara
      
    • Lipstick
      
• Flower girl basket
  
• Ring pillow
  
• Rings
  
• Handfasting cord
  
• Quaich
  
• Flowers
  
  • Bride's Bouquet
    
    • 30-35 mini callas (orange)
      
    • Greenery
      
    • Ribbon to wrap stems
      
  • Maids' bouquets (2)
    
    • 25 mini callas (ivory)
      
    • Greenery
      
    • Ribbon
      
  • Corsages (3)
    
  • Boutonnieres (4)
    
  • Centerpieces
    
    • 10 glass vases
      
    • Orange, green and ivory flowers
      
    • Branches
      
    • Ribbon
      
• Rose petals for scattering
  
• Programs
  
  • Green card stock
    
  • Ivory vellum overlays
    
  • Fasteners
    
  • Basket for programs
    
• Votive candles (50)
  
• Place settings
  
  • Dinner plates (90)
    
  • Salad/dessert plates (90)
    
  • Drink glasses (180)
    
  • Coffee cups (90)
    
  • Flatware (90 settings)
    
  • Toasting glasses (90)
    
  • Napkins (90)
    
  • Cocktail napkins (360)
    
• Gifts
  
  • Out-of-town bags
    
    • Bag
      
    • Bottled water
      
    • Coffee
      
    • Tea
      
    • Washcloth
      
    • Soap
      
    • Info cards
      
    • Train schedules
      
    • Snacks
      
  • Bridesmaids (2)
    
    • Bag
      
    • Cosmetics bags
      
    • Foot petals
      
    • Shawl
      
    • Socks/slippers
      
    • Jewelry
      
  • Groomsmen (2)
    
  • Mothers/Grandmothers (3)
    
  • Fathers (2)
    
  • Ring bearer/Flower girl (2)
    
    • Bag
      
    • Coloring books
      
    • Bubbles
      
    • Toy
      
    • Tee shirts
      
    • Snacks
      
  • Favors (90)
    
    • (90) 4 oz tins
      
    • 360 oz loose tea
      
    • (90) heart-shaped tea infusers
      
    • Boxes/bags
      
• Guest book and pen
  
• Bathroom basket
• Guest towels
• Advil
• Tylenol
• Antacids
• Toothpicks
• Breath mints
• Band-Aids
• Tissues
• Stain remover wipes
• Hand sanitizer
• Scissors
• AA batteries
• Hair spray
• Tampons/pads
• Clear nail polish
• Hand lotion
• Hair pins
• Emery boards
• Earring back replacements
  
• Cake serving set
  
• Escort cards
  
• Bouquet vases
  
• Birdcage for cards
  
• Cake topper
  
• Tip/payment envelopes
  
• Table numbers and holders

First thing's first

What's the most important part of the wedding day? No, not the venue or the cake. It's the dress! Or, should I say The Dress. This is perhaps the only article of clothing I'll ever wear that seems to have a life of its own. Naturally, as is my habit, I put off dress shopping until the last minute. Well, last minute according to all of those bridal magazines that say you should be dress shopping 9-12 months ahead of time. I went with the 8-month window, since my mother absolutely wanted to go dress shopping with me and that required that she travel from Arizona to New York for a whirlwind weekend of silk, organza, and bad lighting.

We ended up going to three different shops: an off-the-rack dress shop in the mall, a middle-of-the-road boutique, and a high-end shop. I don't know why I bothered with the high-end shop because I knew most of the dresses would be outside my budget. Actually, all of the dresses there were outside my budget (I was hoping to keep the dress below $1000), though there were two that I liked, both by Demetrios:

I liked the ruched bodice on this dress because it made me look a lot more well-endowed than I actually am. Also, this is the shop where I sort of fell in love with lace. This all-over lace dress was really pretty, but they didn't have a dress that was big enough to give me a decent idea of how the dress would look on my hips. Even though it's an a-line, it's a fit-and-flare, so I didn't want to risk over-emphasizing my "child bearing hips".

This dress was absolutely gorgeous. Well, they're all gorgeous, but I really loved how the bottom of the skirt was pleated. It really added some interest to the train. Also, you can't tell so much from the picture, but the beading on the skirt extended up onto the ruched bodice and sort of trailed off. It was very organic looking, which I liked.

Ultimately, both of these dresses were too expensive for me, hovering right around the $2000 mark. Although, when I got home that evening there was a message from the bridal salon informing me of a "special" taking 10% off of the dresses if I purchased in the next two weeks.

The "middle-of-the-road" boutique was great, as my saleslady asked me what my budget was and only pulled dresses that were within or just slightly above my budget. She was also fantastic at figuring out my taste from our quick walk around the showroom. My favorite dress at this location was a $1600 Paloma Blanca.

This dress is so completely not what I would pick out for myself that I had trouble figuring out which dress I had tried on when I went to the designer's website that evening. Also, I have to say the picture doesn't do it justice. The ruching is much more flattering on someone who has a more hourglass figure. The entire dress is a lovely natural silk with just the bodice in lace. No crystals or fancy embroidery to be found. The thing that really surprised me was the pick-up skirt. I'm generally very anti-pick-up, but I truly did not notice the pick-ups when I tried the dress on. I noticed the draping in the skirt, but not the pick-ups.

This dress was clearly too expensive again (although with all of that silk I can understand why), but I could have probably found it cheaper online if I really was in love with it. The trouble was, although I couldn't get it out of my head for a few days, every time I looked at the picture I was less and less in love with it.

The dress I ultimately purchased is actually from the more budget-friendly "off-the-rack" shop, Camille La Vie. We got off on the wrong foot with this shop, since it appeared that no one bothered to write down my appointment time and we couldn't get a salesperson to help us for a good 20 minutes after our arrival. But, they did have some lovely dresses at very reasonable prices. And, the best part is that they had most of the dresses I wanted to try on in my size or a "close enough" size that I could get a good idea of how each would really look on me.

Here is the dress I decided to make "mine":

Try to ignore the silly pose. I don't know why they make models do that, as it actually detracts from the dress. This was, in fact, the second dress I tried on in the whole dress-shopping ordeal. I love the gathered ruching, and the diagonal layering as it sort of makes my waist look slimmer. Also, the layering and beading is all on an organza overlay that catches the light "just so" and makes the entire dress a little less formal.

Camille La Vie was also where the idea of a veil entered my head. I had been vehemently anti-veil, as I'm not getting married in a church and the whole thing seemed a little overblown for my simpler tastes. But, the saleslady plopped a fingertip-length single layer veil on my head and, I have to admit, it looked lovely. It was very simple and not poufy, and now I think I may just need a veil, but that's a subject for another blog entry.